Social and emotional support
Social support can be a key to reducing healing crises. Finding people or a group that understands what it is to travel the healing journey may take some work. Many “support groups” focus on an illness. These groups aren’t focused on the process of getting well. I have seen instances when a person in one of these groups who is really committed to getting well becomes ostracized.
Realize that getting well and addressing old issues is, unfortunately, not the norm. That said, there are people and groups that have gone through what you have gone through. One aspect of this site is the forum section that is meant to be a virtual support group. You may have to start your own group. I did.
It bears mentioning that you may go through a period where you feel reclusive. That is normal – allow it. You may also find that you are drifting away from some of your friends. This social healing crisis is a strange one. It like discovering what was once your favorite food is no longer your favorite food. You may find yourself less tolerant of some of your friends’ behaviors. It is uncomfortable. I can say however, from my personal and professional experience that in the long run you will have relationships that are even more enjoyable.
Here are some suggestions on where to start your communication with your friends and family to get the energy moving:
- speak about what you are going through, as best as your can tell the person your experience and listen to them respond
- communicate your feelings and needs
- set your boundaries, tell others what is not okay for you. This can be the most difficult thing to do
- share with them your commitment to being well
- share with them this post on the process
- share with them that they may be at the effect of old emotions coming out
- I call this co-lateral damage – often old anger that was not okay to express as a child will be directed towards your spouse
- warn them – it is not about them
- you are releasing old emotions and learning that it is okay to do so
- the fact they are the target represents your trust in them. That may not be a significant consolation, but it’s true
- I have always seen this work out for the best